Reviewing Madame Web: The Film

I watched Madame Web for free and would like a refund. Yes, Sony and Marvel’s new comic book movie is as advertised. It’s a sloppy, badly written mess that would have been considered terrible even if it had been released in the decade it was supposedly made, i.e. the mid-’90s. Dakota Johnson plays a confused protagonist who begins to see glimpses of her future, drawing her into an uninspiring web of lackluster action, questionable plotting, and shitty acting. Johnson isn’t exactly great as the title character, but it’s clear that she’s probably the fault of a terrible script written on a wet napkin. The rest of the cast, including Sidney Sweeney, Isabella Merced, and Celeste O’Connor, all seem lost in playing obnoxious, shallow teenagers. Poor Tahar Rahim, on the other hand, is truly awful as one of the worst villains ever to appear on screen.